Percy the Pianist: Canto 1, stanzas 31-41
Dan WildPrevious.. 31Half a day before the gathering stormRose Percy, not Percival of Wagner’sDour overture, based on the French wormOf Tours – these were really snaky nagas,Like an open pack of Lady gagasBought from a small Chinese tobacconistThat sells everything except hate. No ragasWould be played today, nor would F. LizstBe taken out of the stool …
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Percy the Pianist: Canto I, stanzas 21-30
Dan WildStanzas 1-20 21Next eve the band Toucani reconvened,A final chance to demonstrate the planTo put on stage was sound. Absent a fiendOr devilish surprise, the piano manPercy was full prepared, the billy canOf his musical ideas ready to overflow.He was not going to AfghanistanTo liberate or command, althoughHis nerves seemed to say that this was …
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Cosmogony 67: the Zentrians
Dan WildIt is believed the Zentrians tie in with the multiverse theory, although no one has been able to prove this. Indeed, there is no scientific proof that the Zentrians even exist. Whether they are a race, an entity or a collection of spiritual beings is pure conjecture. The favoured explanation of conspiracy theorists is that …
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Cosmogony 766: Bad Ends
Dan WildSeventy kilometres north of Crete 581d’s capital, Reticulum, lie the Bad Ends. Most citizens avoid the Bad Ends. The Bad Ends became bad when Phineas Guthrie founded Conscious Follicles. Since then, hairdressing has often had links to organised crime. Jeremiah Kibbles moved into the area soon after, starting his business at the back of a …
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Cosmogony 1243: Binary Loans
Dan WildA money lending chain founded by Nostradamus Noke in 2910, in ninety years Binary Loans grew from a small payday loan business to a successful franchise operating on both Crete 581d and Crete 581f. It avoids the Cretan 581d corporate tax rate of 30% by sending its revenue to holding companies on Crete 581f where …
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The Lost History of the Tablet – from Athens to the iPad
Dan WildOn October 17, 2011, I had a satirical piece published in the Sydney Morning Herald’s Heckler column. It can no longer be found online. Down with you Archivists! The article was a little nod to the great Steve Jobs who had recently left our Earth. I reproduce the article below from my only surviving newspaper …
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English country cuisine — Dorian Wild
Dorian WildFollowing is a guest post from none other than my father, Dorian Wild. He wrote this while holidaying in the English countryside two years ago. I found it while rummaging through my email archives in search of a backup for my third novel. I imagine Dad’s colourful satirical style is what won over readers in …