Cosmogony 766: Shabbylands

Seventy kilometres north of Crete 581d’s capital, Reticulum, lie the Shabbylands. Most citizens avoid the Shabbylands.

The Shabbylands became shabby when Phineas Guthrie founded Conscious Follicles. Since then, hairdressing has often had links to organised crime.

Jeremiah Kibbles moved into the area soon after, starting his business at the back of a nail salon, cleaning and upgrading obsolete firearms and selling them on the dark market. He was no threat to Guthrie’s hairdressing business, which focused on money laundering, but Guthrie resented Kibbles’ growing presence. Initially Guthrie was one of Kibbles’ best customers, but he used the weaponry he purchased to take out Kibbles’ most important contacts.

Kibbles Industries grew until the government could not ignore it, and it is now a major player in the armament defence and markets of Crete 581d.

Bhopal slum, India, resembles the Shabbylands, except for the blue sky (Wikimedia)

The turf war between Kibbles and Guthrie has lasted twenty years, becoming less intense since Kibbles moved some of his manufacturing to Crete 581f. The Shabbylands has even become hipster, although this change is not appreciated by everyone.

It is appropriate to finish this entry in the Cosmogony with reference to the 33rd Mayor of Reticulum, as it is from his mouth that the name Shabbylands reputedly originates.

“I vow to clean this scar on the arm of society, this sore on the finger of our outstretched hand. These shabby lands will no longer be the scab on our velvet tissue. No more will they suck the teat of our nanny goat, or spit with the wind towards our daily labours. The shabby lands will be neat. These shabby lands will no longer be shabby.” (33rd Mayor of Reticulum, Speech given at Annual Conference for Unknown People)

From Doctor Boson’s Cosmogonyan encyclopaedia of the future

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